All posts tagged: Dreams

Full-time

I can vividly recall the moment I decided I wanted to become a writer. I was sitting in a tan corduroy chair inside a cramped college dorm room. I was rereading Brave New World by Aldous Huxley. It was at that moment that I realized I saw the world just as Huxley did. And I thought this might mean I should write novels, too. Of course, at the time, I was also very interested in photography and film and understanding that a degree in Creative Writing might not pay any bills, I ultimately decided to study Mass Communications. It took me some time to come back around to writing books, but ever since then, I’ve wanted to write full time. Even then, I understood writing novels would most likely mean writing other things in support of that endeavor. But the reality is I’m not entirely sure I want to write articles for a magazine like Cat Fancy just to say that I’m a full-time writer. (I’m allergic to cats.) At times, I fear this means …

The Lesson of the Replacement Flip Flops

Last summer, my flip flops were stolen, and it made me think it might be best if I kept a loose grip on my possessions (and my dreams). I still think that might be a good idea, but this summer, I realized the thought needed to be expanded upon after I bought myself a pair of replacement flip flops. I went the entire year without replacing my flip flops, which was a mistake because I bought some new ones at the last minute—waiting until the last minute meant that the ones that I ordered were designed for someone with a foot like a Sasquatch, not mine. There wasn’t enough time to return them. Granted, they worked in a pinch, but they were generally uncomfortable, and there were numerous times when I chose to walk over asphalt in bare feet rather than wear my new flip flops. The sand under the loose-fitting strap was more painful than a sharp rock on the ball of my foot or heel. They were a bad purchase and a poor …

Filmmaker

For most of my twenties, I actively pursued film directing as a vocation. I wrote several full-length screenplays. And I wrote and directed a number of short films that debuted in festivals. One of those shorts was even promoted on an IFC program titled Media Lab Shorts Uploaded. But after one particularly disastrous shoot, in which the film I was working on wasn’t even finished, I began to think I’d left my true vocation behind. I wanted to be a novelist, and that seemed to be showing in the stress I felt on set as well as an increasing lackluster when it came to corralling actors. Before that shoot, I bought a Krasnogorsk-3 so I could try shooting 16mm film. It was shipped in via eBay from Ukraine. And it’s the same camera I believed was used by undergraduates at USC film school. That camera is still sitting on my bookshelf. And I’ve kept it there over the past decade for good reason. My dream of becoming a filmmaker is bound up inside of it. …