Improvement, Journal

Patience

Not everything in my life is the way I want it to be. In a few cases, my patience has been worn thin and I’m justifiably frustrated. But, in other areas, I could use a little more tolerance for discomfort.

Ideally, I would approach scenarios that test my patience with a cool head. This might require a certain level of detachment and while that could be healthy, I sometimes fear it can be taken too far. I want to feel free to express emotion–when necessary. And I would prefer to avoid self-imposed despondency for the sake of equilibrium.

To further complicate the matter, becoming unfeeling or unmoved by the things that make me suffer seems like an unobtainable goal. Life has brought me (like everyone) obstacles, and I have been able to achieve a level head regarding my plight, for the most part. The problem is that there is one major area of my life that brings me persistent and severe agitation. In fact, I have no patience for my predicament and very little hope for the future.

The way to overcome my frustration may be to realize I’m no a soothsayer. I can’t tell the future, so I don’t know how my path will ultimately unfold. In other words, I may get what I’m after–just on a different timeline than I was expecting, which makes complaining seem a bit uncomely.

A choice I can make is to find reasons to be grateful regarding the present. And that’s why I try to keep a gratitude journal. But, honestly, it’s only been moderately effective in showing me how lucky I already am.

Obviously, I spend too much time dwelling on my own adversity. I’m particularly attune to injustice and rubbed raw by it too easily. And it’s possible that if I spent less time licking my wounds, they would heal. In the end, I should work on being more patient. Especially when I don’t really want to.

photo: Jeremy Thomas

This entry was posted in: Improvement, Journal

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Justin Meckes is a writer and filmmaker living in Chapel Hill, NC. His short stories have been published in various online journals and magazines. He has ghostwritten novels and is the author of several children's books. You can learn more about him at justinmeckes.com or by sending an email to contact@justinmeckes.com.