Mosquito Spouse

My wife is very attractive to mosquitos.
She says so herself.
For this reason, it’s very important that
we never allow a mosquito into the house.
There would be an absolute blood lust
and a lot of little red bumps.
So, we take precautions
just like anyone would.

For example, getting out of the house is a race.
We have a countdown and a step-by-step process.
The front door gets the key in the deadbolt
before the storm door is opened.
Not after, but before.
That’s the important part.
The storm door then is opened,
giving us seconds to close the front door,
turn the key, and shut the storm door behind us.

I have taken a storm door to the shoulder before.

You might be wondering why we don’t stop at the front door.
You’re not thinking like my wife.
What if a mosquito or mosquitoes get trapped between
the storm door and the front door?
Well, they’re getting inside next time you go
into the house.

So, we have to be quick.
We can’t waste our time when we’re going out.
Otherwise, we might get bite.
She might say ouch.

It could happen six or seven times
in the matter of minutes.
And I’ll get blamed, not the mosquito.
I wasn’t fast enough.
That’s just what it’s like
when you have a mosquito spouse.

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