Couch Lady

My wife and I were taking a walk
when we came upon this woman
who was attempting to drag
a couch along the sidewalk.

I was prepared to walk right past the crazy couch lady,
but my wife stopped and said, “Can we help you?”

I couldn’t believe it.

And it was as ridiculous as I thought.
The crazy couch lady was trying to drag
this couch she’d found on the sidewalk
about a quarter of a mile back to her house.
Sometimes people do leave furniture
on the side of the road in our neighborhood,
but that’s not a reason to think you can drag
a sofa that far.

So, we helped.

I picked up one side and my wife
and the couch lady picked up the other side.
We huffed along that entire quarter mile,
but not without stopping more than once.
My biceps burned.
My forearms were torched,
but we got that couch through the doorway
(what a fiasco it would have been
if we couldn’t have done that)
and into the couch lady’s apartment.

She thanked us profusely
and explained she was a poor college student.
She then offered to buy us something to drink,
but we didn’t accept.
We were sweating
and tired
and just wanted to rest.

Now, we sometimes see that crazy couch lady
walking around the neighborhood.
I feel obligated to wave,
but I cross the street because I’m not sure
what she’s going to want to drag home next.

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